what could possibly happen next?

2004-05-30

friday night blackout.

Alright, this is going to be a fucked-up entry. Why, you ask? Because I have to tell on myself. I drank Friday night. It was horrible. I went to play cards at The Lady Luck. I was winning. I didn't have a problem in the world. I went back to the bar and ordered me up a shot of Jim Beam. and then another.and another. and another. and another. and another. and another. and another. That's about all I remember. I woke up outside my office face down. No wallet. Not knowing where I was. Lovely. I'm bummed that I lost my wallet, it had like 300 dollars in it plus all of my I.D. I'm kinda grateful that I didn't get beat up though. That's immediately what I do when I come to like that. Check to make sure that I haven't been wounded. Then I look for my wallet. Nothing. Nada. Damn. Oh well, now I have to pick myself up and move forward. I don't want to drink. I'm not going to drink today. Yesterday I just laid around the house feeling like I was going to die. I'm better now. Now I have to tell my friends. UGH! I'd rather not and I know that I don't have to or even write this entry but none of that is going to do me any good. I'm not good at sneaky. Besides, what's the point? I'm trying to stop this kind of behavior and by not saying anything I will just end up prolonging it. I don't know. I'm just pissed at myself right now. I'll get over it. blah!