what could possibly happen next?

2004-10-16

saturday afternoon musings...

I wrote her back. I am a weak human being. I couldn't help myself. I guess I could post what I wrote here.

Hey Jess,

First off, I never thought that you didn't care. I think that is what bugs me more than anything. I think that you are scared that you care too much, and that you aren't going to let that happen. Jessie, I think about you all the time. Whenever I see the shirt you got me, when Caminiti died earlier this week, the box of advil staring at me on the table, little pieces of paper with your name and number on them, looking back in my journal, all of those things. I think that you are awesome. My thoughts about you haven't changed. I miss you. I'm just not in to getting my feelings hurt, that's all. I hope that you had a great birthday. I really wanted to call or write or something but I didn't know what to say. Am I hurt? Yeah, I'm a little hurt. The main reason being that when you are with me, I KNOW that you are happy. Then something changes. I don't know what it is. I just know that it bums me out. I really hope that you are doing well, Jessie. Feel free to write or call me whenever you like. Take care,

Paul

I think that maybe I'm fishing a little. There isn't anybody else to occupy my thoughts, besides the girls that IM back and forth with me. They are scattered throughout the country though, so it's just kind of playing around. The italian girl from Rochester, NY. I think that she would be awesome if she lived here. Very cool, indeed. Then there's the girl from Oklahoma. She is hot! Like physically beautiful. Yes, I've seen more than one picture of her. Her problem is that she's crazy. Has an ex-husband in Alabama (How bizzare is that?). What's up with me and girls who have crazy relationships with nutcases from Alabama? What's up with the state of Alabama anyway? They sure seem to produce alot of retarted people. Physically beautiful. Mentally damaged. Something in the water, perhaps? Who knows. What's in the water in San Diego that makes me attracted to 'tards from the south? Maybe that's the real question. No offense Pixalicious. YOU are wonderful! lol, bye!