what could possibly happen next?

2004-06-10

Hope springs eternal...but....

Watching the padres getting crushed by the red sox on t.v. It's 8-2 bases are loaded in the 7th. There's 2 outs and not much hope. Went to practice last night. It went well for not having played with each other in 7 months. Padres got out of the jam! Imagine that! Maybe there's more hope than I think. I'm tired. Really tired. Thursdays are just a tired day for me. I don't feel like talking to anyone. It's hard just to sit here and type. I went to my drug addict meeting today. I walked out after about 5 minutes. I just didn't feel like being there. The one thing that is going well is work. Thank god. I have to go out and buy an amp. Soon. We worked on a couple of new songs that I have written in the last couple of months. One of them came out real well. Probably going to be a keeper. Do you ever write something and look at it and think what a wonderful time that was? Songs are like that. I was playing the song and remembering how I was feeling at that moment. I love the endless possibilities of getting to know someone. I dread the inevitable conclusion of loss. Most of the time I will cut it short before I get my feelings hurt. I don't want to do that, and I fear it's much too late for that anyway. I'm hurt. It's ridiculous. How do I let myself get like that?