what could possibly happen next?

2005-02-10

Days of naps and poses

Hey look, I'm writing! How about that, huh? Not bad. One of the worst things about being an unstable drug addict is the unstable part. You ever see those drug commercials where the teenager is becoming moody and withdrawn? Hiding in his room for hours at a time? His parents coming in to check on him and he throws a CD at the door and tells them to leave him alone? Well, as much as I hate to admit it, I get like that. I've been moody and withdrawn the last few days. I still partially am. I have no drugs. That's part of it. Most addicts are hard to deal with when they don't have them. I don't go out and rob people like you see on TV. I just suffer silently and do the basics of life to get by. The basics don't include telling you people how dead I feel inside. How I have nothing to say and no way to say it. I just don't say anything. I'm not neccessarily jonesing. I'm just not feeling much of anything. I prefer that to actually physically craving drugs. That's a bitch. I still wouldn't rob people but I might make you miserable enough that you would go out and rob people for me just to get me to shut the fuck up. I really need to work on becoming a higher rolling drug addict. More "scarface" or "blow" than "requiem for a dream", you know what I mean? Truth is, I fall much more into the middle of all that than I would like to admit. Anyway, that's it from me. Seems like I have been writing for hours. Must take a nap now. Sleep away a few more of the "boring, non chemically enhanced hours", dreaming of my next fix. I understand the term "fix" way too well. It's a "fix" because right now I'm broken.