what could possibly happen next?

2004-07-04

4th of July

I'm still kind of in a major depression. Which means that I really don't feel like writing cuz every letter almost feels painful to type. It's not "about" anything yet it's about "everything". Let's see. Facts. I might be able to type about facts. Fact #1. We have a show on the 31st of July. Which is good. I guess. I'm sure I'll feel better by then. Fact #2. Played poker on friday and won $100. Which came in handy for fact #3. Went to the San Diego Fair on Saturday with Alabama, her dad and Jim, the kids, and mah man James. I won him a big ol' Nemo tossing darts. God, I love that kid so much! He's probably the only reason that I'm typing right now. Made me feel that much better. ooooh, and fact #4. Rachel (my 16 year old if you forgot or I haven't mentioned in so long that you weren't aware of her) called me on thursday. She just got out of rehab. She sounded so good. That made me feel a helluva lot better too. She was at the Phoenix House, which is pretty hard core. Chip off the old block, that one is. What's funny is she has more time clean than her old man. Maybe she will take me to a meeting or something. lol. Life is full of little ironies, isn't it? I was reading some of my friends entries today, I haven't been getting on here too much lately. Death. It sure is one of the things that bonds all of us together. I cried when I was reading about Miss2k's cousin's baby. I cried when I read about Melissa's dad's best friend, AND about his brother. I even cried when I read about Groovebunny's recent sadness. I understand the whole "why do I put such importance on little things" that Pixie was typing about. It didn't make me cry, but it made me think. I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. I haven't been talking much lately which is another sure sign of melancholy taking over. Other people around me are aware. Maybe more so than I. Alright, it's 4th of July, dammit! Time to go eat some hot dogs and watch some fireworks!