what could possibly happen next?

2004-03-13

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I finally heard from Rachel today. Her mom called me from the ER up in Escondido. She had just had her stomach pumped due to alcohol poisoning. A chip off the old block, this one. Not only that, when she gets out of the hospital, I talk to her and she hangs up on me! Cuz I don't want her to live in the cult house that she has been living in. I gave my ex-wife #1 the phone numbers where Rachel can get ahold of me. God, 16 is so rough. She has some legitimate issues which is why it's hard to just ignore what she is saying and slam her in rehab and throw away the key. Whenever her mom and her get in a fight, it's always a real FIGHT! The cops get called, all hell breaks loose. She doesn't want to live with me either, I'm too far away from her friends. She also has no fear of running away. I'd go up and get her and bring her here anyway but she would just take off the minute my back was turned. I don't know how many time today I looked up at the sky and apologized to my mom for all the crazy shit I did. I miss my man James. I don't know what's going on with Alabama. She wanted me to get her some shit today, and I ain't talking feces. I can't do it, I won't do it. Go off with mr. EX and leave the baby with me. My life is really complicated right now, and I just have to keep my focus on staying clean and everything will be alright. That's what they keep telling me anyway. Fuck them. But they are right.