what could possibly happen next?

2004-04-01

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Here is my full disclosure on women involved in my life right now, since someone else decided to rank her romantic interests. (And I was only #3! What kind of shit is that?!?!?!)

1. The one that rates me #3. We have never talked, just exchanged IM's. I think that I am in love with her, in that weird kind of internet way. Closest thing to love that I have for anyone right now. My soul mate as far as likes, shared experiences, and feelings go. But very far away....

2. The sicilian. We have actual sex. She is very sweet and I love spending time with her, but I haven't fallen in love with her. Which isn't a bad thing, maybe this is the way it is really supposed to be. Problem: She don't smoke. I'm a smoker.....'nuff said.

3. Alabama. Yes, she's still in the picture ufortunately. I still have feelings for her, whether it's just because of James, or cuz of the nasty sex. We had phone sex last night, about an hour and a half before the sicilian and I went out. Nice. I'm such a piece of shit sometimes.

4. Nancy. I have been talking to her on the phone. She's a musician and has a dynamite personality. Maybe a little too egocentric but it's hard to tell over the phone.

5. _______. Although I blew her off, she always seems to be popping up at the most opportune times.

6. A couple of girls that have contacted me off my personal ad. Haven't advanced to far with them.

7. Michelle, Grace's mom. The one that I think I was meant to be with. I don't think that she sees it that way, though. lol. One can always hope, can't one? But I'm not partying, so it's probably never going to happen.

8. Patty the bartender. A dark horse to be sure, but she is much in the Michelle mold. Just a hella cool chick with a cool boyfriend too. I DO love her but I would never do anything with her when I am clean. I don't like to cheat. But she has been looking hot lately. lol

There's the list. I hope that I am not doing this to be mean to #1 but I think my feelings got a little hurt. It's not logical to get my feelings hurt as far as my relationship with her goes. Love's not logical. So fuck it! Traitor Ron (maybe he's #9 tonight) lol is coming over and we are going to play some come fuck me music and maybe stir up the coeds tonight. Maybe we will have #10 and #11 tomorrow. God, I am way too sensitive, although you would think that someone that has a list like this probably isn't. Whatever.