2004-06-28
1:40 am ramblings
How nice. I woke up out of a sound sleep. I must have fell asleep around 6:30 after dinner. Now I can't get back. Reading my friends journals. Sometimes when I'm writing recently my whole body feels like it wants to shut down. "Don't say anything!" Just sit quietly and don't draw any attention to yourself. I'm feeling rudderless, without direction. I've learned that when I'm like this, it's not the best thing. I tend to act out. I know that it will pass so I'm just trying to sit on my hands until it goes away. I was reading Lissacake's last entry and started laughing. I'm so the same way. I remember every conversation, as ammunition. Everything that you do. It's not fair to anyone that I'm keeping score. But I do. I guess it's just one more self defense trap that I set so that I don't get hurt. OK, I'm going back to sleep now.
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