what could possibly happen next?

2004-09-04

Waking up

Have I told you people that I am feeling much better? I was walking back from starbucks this morning when my foot stepped in a hole and I almost ate shit. But I didn't. That's kind of the way I'm feeling about life. A lot of things could have gone wrong but didn't. How do I describe it? A lightening of my load? I think the reason why is just accepting that Alabama is bad for me and finally letting it go. I think hanging up on her was cathartic for me. I think that having a couple girls interested in me is helping. I know after going through this think with Alabama I wasn't feeling neccesarily attractive. Or worthy of anyone liking me. I think that's part of the reason why I kept letting her come back into my life. Talking to #1 has helped too. She lets me be goofy and silly. If you don't do that for awhile you start to forget to lighten up. I don't really like when people describe me as intense and moody. If you had talked to me in the last 9 months that is probably the description you would have gotten. I want to be considered passionate, but my normal self is light-hearted and fun. I'm feeling that way again. Remembering how to be happy. I guess it's kind of like having to learn how to walk all over again after a car accident. It's coming back slowly but surely. Oh yeah, and don't forget groovebunny, who's another silly goose that makes me laugh. Thanks to all of you, you all have touched me in some special way. Mmmmm, this venti mocha is tasty. I'm starting to wake up.