what could possibly happen next?

2004-09-07

Needle in the bathroom

An update on the new internet girl. I haven't been able to think of a nickname for her yet. I don't want to jinx it. I have a date with her on Friday. I talked to her on the phone last night for a couple of hours and she was completely awesome. Funny and quick. How about this? I had to say "hey, I've got to go. I have to wake up for work in the morning." I didn't want to stop talking to her. I wanted to fall asleep listening to her on the phone. I'm way too much of a romantic. I am excited though. It's been awhile sine I have been excited about someone. #1 excluded. In other news it looks like my sponsor (who had 20 years clean) is shooting dope again. Yeah. 20 years doesn't even give you any immunity from that shit. His wife (one of my best friends) called me and told me that she found a syringe in the bathroom on Saturday. I feel horrible for all of them. I called up one of the other guys that my sponsor sponsors and asked him to sponsor me. He's a good guy and I like the way he carries himself. He was just as bummed (if not more) than I was. I told Anna and she started crying. She made me cry. Yeah, it's amazing how you affect people with your actions. Even when you don't realize it. I'm starting to realize. Anna told me today that it broke her heart when I started using again. The way she said it made me really believe her. I'm a heel. She's coming to pick me up tonight for a meeting. Fancy that. She want's to keep her Paulie clean. She's probably my best friend in the world. I take it for granted. I wish I didn't.