2004-10-04

heartbreak warning alert back to normal

Long time, no talk. At least for us. Hey, you know how last time I saw you I told you about the email she sent me and how I sent her one back telling her that I didn't want to be somebody that acted like this? Guess what happened? Right after I got done telling you about how I think it's really all over she calls. She wants to come over and talk. She says that she doesn't communicate well over the phone. Well, I told her to come over and we will talk. As soon as she gets here, she walks up the stairs and gives me this huge hug. We talk about all the things that I have been telling you, Diary. Then she says the sweetest thing to me, absolutely beautiful. I'm crying as I'm typing this diary. She looks at me with her beautiful eyes and pretty mouth and says, "Hey, just to let you know, my guard is down." She meant it. Now, I didn't cry in front of her, diary, I'm a man and what not. It was just like one of those classic scenes in a movie that make your eyes water and wish you could be feeling that way about someone. Yet there I was. The being scared was gone. The "I'm-not-sures" done. Just her letting me in. Not closing down. Not running away. We had a great night, she left about 1:15 in the morning. We hung out again after work tonight. That's two good days in a row! The deal with her is this. She is afraid of falling in love with me so fast. She's dealing with it as best as one can coming out of a ten year relationship. Everything is back to normal and probably better than it was before because we now have some understanding of each other. Now diary, don't tell God. He thinks it's funny to fuck with me when I am happy. It will just be our little secret.

Love,

Paul